


Dork City

by secretsofluftnarp (luftie)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Dick Jokes, Episode: s03e01 The New Captain, F/M, First Dates, Trans Jake Peralta, Trans Male Character, goofiness and positivity, supportive friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 08:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12229101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftie/pseuds/secretsofluftnarp
Summary: Trans!Jake, set right at the beginning of when Jake and Amy start actually-dating. Also: one time Gina and Jake went dick shopping.





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> There is no wrong way to have a body, and no wrong way to have sex-while-trans. This mentions one version, featuring one goofy dude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whoa, no. I totally want to have sex. I just need to awkwardly explain myself first."

"Four-drink Amy thinks you smell nice," Amy said.    
  
Four-drink Amy was a little touchy-feely, but Jake was into it, obviously. He was into this whole being-on-a-real-date thing too, where he and Amy put on nice grownup date outfits and actually went out to dinner, even though it was super awkward at first. So they ordered a bunch of drinks, which was working out, especially with how Amy was leaning on his arm and lazy-smiling at him. 

"Four-drink Jakey thinks your...face...is good," Jake said. Good one, Jake thought. Being super drunk was definitely making things go smoother.

Amy said this light n' breezy thing was going awesome, right? Jake agreed, and agreed that it would also be awesome to go make out somewhere that wasn't a restaurant, ha ha, remember how they had to pretend to make out to avoid suspicion on a case, but now they could just make out for real? Jake wasn't sure that, say, going back to Jake's apartment lined up with Amy's 'let's not have sex right away, it'll make things complicated' rule, but light n' breezy meant you got to do what you wanted, right?   
  
Right?   


They didn't think about it. Amy pinned Jake up against the wall of his apartment -- four-drink Amy was actually pretty aggressive, but Jake was into that, obviously -- and kissed him, putting her arms around his neck, pressing her body up against his. Her hands found their way down his back, and...what exactly was happening?

Oh, okay. She was going in for the butt grab. 

Amy's hand caught on a thick black stripe of elastic just below his waist. 

"Jake?" Amy said, with a questioning half-smile. "Are you wearing a thong?"

"Nope, nope, it's a packing strap," Jake said. He grinned his wildest, goofiest grin. "It's because my penis is detachable!"    
  
Amy made her  _ are you messing with me? _ face. Which was fair.   
  
"Sorry, that's a weird place to start," Jake said. "I should have said something earlier, but I thought we weren't having sex --"   
  
Amy looked startled. "You don't want to have sex?"   
  
"Whoa, no. I totally want to have sex. I just need to awkwardly explain myself first."

Amy relaxed her shoulders and looked at him. She really did have a good face.   
  
"So, I'm trans," Jake started.    
  
"You always wanted to be a woman?" Amy grabbed him by the shoulders. "Jake, I want you to know, I support you no matter what --"   
  
"That is literally the opposite of what I meant," Jake said, smiling a little. "But I kinda love how you were immediately on board."

Jake started again. "So I'm a trans  _ guy _ . Which means -- do I need to get into it, actually? You're Amy, so you've probably like, read a book about trans people."   
  
"A bunch, actually," Amy said. "But Four-Drink Amy is still terrified of saying something insensitive."

Jake had been with people who weren't nearly this invested, but he had enough clarity of mind not to bring that up. 

_ "Oh, I don't care," Sophia had laughed. "Does your dick work?" _ __  
___"Yeah," Jake had chuckled. He was skeptical of the question but decided to roll with it. "Better than average, actually."_   


Amy was waiting. There was a look Jake was bracing for -- the one where someone tried to look through him, to see who he 'really' was, you know, 'before.' But Amy wasn't doing it.   


"I think you're fine," Jake said. "As long as you still think I'm Jake."   
  
"Who else would you be?" Amy said. She was being honest, and encouraging.   
  
Jake motioned for them to sit on the bed. "You know how I'm ridiculously proud of my body even though it makes no sense?"    
  
"Yeah," Amy laughed.   
  
"Because it totally isn't what I started out with. Like, in life." Jake started undoing buttons. "Lemme just super-casually take my shirt off in front of this girl I like."

"Don't strain yourself," Amy kidded.

"So, you can figure I got a little off here," Jake said, motioning around his chest. "And put on a little here," he said, flexing a not-that-impressive bicep that still felt good regardless. "And you can hardly see any chest scarring anymore. I was gonna get a tattoo if I needed to cover them up, but I couldn't make up my mind about what to get. That was probably for the best. That was during my metalhead phase."    
  
He turned to Amy and shrugged. "I think it turned out pretty good though." 

Amy nodded. She touched his arm, the way someone would if he were a big, muscled guy. He clearly wasn't buff enough for that, but it was super validating anyway.

"So...my penis really is detachable," Jake explained. "Like the song?  _ De-tach-a-ble pe-nis _ ," Jake sang. "And, like the guy in the song, I  _ also _ lost my dick at a party once."   
  
Amy snorted. "Good job."

"And the real reason I didn't tell you sooner was..." Jake took a deep breath. "If you had made fun of me in a mean way, for being this kind of guy, I wouldn't have been able to deal."

Instead of answering, Amy grabbed him by both sides of the head and started kissing him again. Jake, caught off guard, fell back on the bed, with an Amy on top of him.  
  
"Wait," Amy said. "So what do you...like?"

"My brain just thinks my dick is part of my body. So, anything you...might've been thinking of doing before, we can still do."

"Nice," said Amy. "Will I still be able to tell if you..." Amy tried to imply some sex things with hand motions. "...get there?"  
  
Jake beamed. "Oh, you'll know."

And they  _ were _ really good at it, Jake's little nod of  _ you want me to touch you there?  _ synching up with Amy's nod of  _ hell yeah I do _ . They didn't care about how many weird noises they made, which was cool, because it turned out Amy's getting there was  _ also _ really obvious.  
  
"So," Jake said, lying on his back afterwards. "We broke a rule." 

"Yeah," said Amy, turning toward him. "I hope it wasn't a mistake," she teased.

**"** _ I Hope it Wasn't a Mistake  _ title of your sex tape!" Then he gasped. "Title of  _ our _ sex tape!"   
  
Amy laughed a little, which was good. She snuggled for a little while, then got up and got dressed.

"This was really fun," Amy said. "Like,  _ really _ fun, but I'm gonna head out. There's just no way I'm walk-of-shaming into work tomorrow."   
  
"Yeah, no, we work with detectives who would totally notice. Best to keep up our top-notch undercover sexytime operation in secret."

She gave him a very, very long goodbye kiss before heading toward the door.

_ I love you so much _ , Jake almost-said.  
  
Oh, shit, did he say that out loud? Too soon! Way too soon! High alert! Jake braced himself in case Amy flipped.   


Wait, no, he didn't say anything out loud. Cool. Crisis averted.    
  
For now. Probably.


	2. Flashback: 2004

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Gina go shopping.

Gina was driving Jake to the toy store. The _adult_ toy store.   
  
Jake wasn't sure when Gina had gotten a car. She'd been kind of cagey -- or, in Gina's words, "maintaining an air of mystery" -- since she dropped out of school. Jake, meanwhile, was just trying to pass some classes, which he mostly was. Mostly. Doing that totally normal college student thing of living off pizza and ramen, and getting purposefully kicked out of on-campus housing so he didn't have to stay in a wrong-gendered dorm. You know, normal stuff.   
  
"Whose car _is_ this?" Jake said.   
  
" _Air of mystery_ ," Gina repeated. "Look, just because I have an 'in' with the manager of _Sex Toys & Butt Joys _ doesn't mean I had to drive you."   
  
"I just didn't want to go by myself, okay?" Jake looked out the window. "Sorry, Gina, this is actually a really cool thing you're doing for me."

"Plus," Jake said, "once I got this I can be like --" Jake started dancing in his seat. " _Cuz_ _I'm long! And I'm strong! And I've gots an adjustable dong!_ "  
  
"I get that this process is gender-affirming for you," Gina said. "But how many 'dong songs' can you have?"  
  
"Oooh, good one! The Dong Song! _Dong duh-dong DONG Dong_!"

Gina rolled her eyes.

" _Take me down to the penistown city, where the grass is green and the dicks are spiffy_ \--" Jake sang.   
  
"Okay, that one is a reach."

"I'm saying, I appreciate it."  
  
Jake did appreciate Gina, a lot. She had immediately caught on to the call-me-he, I'm-a-guy thing. "That makes a lot of sense, actually," Gina had said. "Even if I think of us as little kids, I can picture you as a boy. Poof. Boom. Doin' it."   
  
But the 'Jake' thing was a little harder. Like right now, in the car, Gina had meant to say 'okay, Jake,' started to say a different name, and then corrected herself.   
  
"Sorry," Gina said. "You sure about the name? Only asking because you've changed your mind eighteen times about everything else in your life."

"Honestly, it is the only thing in my life right now that makes sense to me," Jake admitted.  
  
"You gonna change majors again?"   
  
"Oh, yeah. A whole bunch of times."   
  
"You should follow your dream," Gina said.   
  
"And fully transform into Bruce Willis?"   
  
"No, Jake, the real one!" Gina said. "You don't need a good GPA to become a cop, and they don't care what your major was."   
  
"Huh. Good point." Jake filed that information away for later. "Or my band could make it big."   
  
Gina looked skeptical. "Your ska band?"   
  
"God, no, Gina, it's 2004. We're a screamo band. It's like you and I aren't even MySpace friends," Jake scoffed. "Anyway, if _The Antisocial Peninsula_ has a breakout star, it's gonna be me."   
  
"Uh huh," Gina said, as she pulled into the store's parking lot. She sounded skeptical, but she let it go.   
  
When they got into the store, Jake was way more nervous than he bargained on. He was not-able-to-form-real-words levels of nervous.

Gina noticed, clapped him on the back, and aimed him toward a kind-looking store employee.  "My friend here needs a penis," Gina said to the clerk. "He just doesn't feel right without one."  
  
"I know that sounds like a gay joke but it's not," Gina said, to nobody in particular, as the clerk led Jake toward a wall of dicks of different colors and softnesses. She yelled across the store. "Jake, are you gay?"   
  
"That's a confusing question for me at the moment!" Jake called back.

"She could have waited until I was finished handling all these dongs before she asked me that," Jake joked, to the clerk. "Sorry, I'm uncomfortable with emotions."  
  
Jake found Gina again several minutes later, where she was contemplating a row of ball gags.   
  
"Gina," Jake whispered. "Did you know how much quality dickery costs?"

"Jeez, how broke are you?" Gina hissed. "Jake. I am not gonna go halfsies on your dick."  
  
"Right," Jake said, "but you have an in-ay with the anager-may."   
  
Gina sighed. "Fine, I'll finagle you a discount," she said. "But you _owe_ me."   
  
"A dickscount!" Jake said. "I love my life!"   
  
Gina shook her head, but she wasn't mad. Jake was clearly overjoyed, grinning like the big goofy idiot he was.

"Hey Gina," Jake said, posing with his purchased package. "It's my dick in a box!"


	3. Second Date

It had been an intense couple of days.   
  
At first things had been amazing between him and Amy, and then they'd gotten a little carried away. If you could call accidentally killing Captain Dozerman 'getting a little carried away.' (Actually, maybe it was the fact that Dozerman _flipped out_ at them for making out that killed him? Either way: intense.) Then Amy had said she wanted to call it quits.   
  
So Charles was punching him, which was also fair.   
  
"You guys started this with one foot out the door!" Charles shouted.   
  
"That makes a lot of sense, actually," Jake said. "Ow!"

Charles told Jake to march right over to Amy's, which was also a surprisingly good idea.   
  
"I am gonna go over there," Jake resolved. "I'm gonna tell her how I feel."

Except he ran right into Amy at the door of his apartment, who had come to tell him the same thing.  
  
"I realized the only person I wanted to talk about that stuff with is you," Amy said.   
  
Charles, delighted, clapped them both on the shoulders.   
  
"Oh!" Amy said. "Charles is here!"

Amy looked at Jake. Jake looked at Charles.   
  
"Charles, sorry buddy, I think we're ditching you."   
  
"Fair enough, lovebirds!" Charles said, and sailed back out the door.

"I'm really glad you came back," Jake said.

"I'm sorry," Amy said. "Things have been overwhelming lately."

"Yeah, no, we've been through some stuff lately," Jake said, taking a seat on the couch. "Amy, we saw a captain die, and I'm not sure any of us are responding appropriately. Should I go back to therapy?"  
  
Amy gave a noncomittal half-nod, half-shrug that said 'couldn't hurt,' realized halfway through that this would apply to her too, and moved on.  

She took a seat next to Jake on the couch, and looked him in the eyes. "I also didn't want you to think I left because of...who you are."

"I was pretty sure it wasn't that," Jake said. "But I'm glad you said so."

"I'm glad I didn't accidentally say that in front of Charles," Amy said. "Unless...?"

"Oh, Charles," Jake said. "You know, part of the reason I think Charles and I are such good friends is, no matter how weird I am, Charles is weirder. No matter what I tell him, he's all 'how's Jakey my Jake man, coolest guy in the universe.' So stuff has come up, because we've worked super closely, but for whatever reason it just does not change his impression of me _at all_."  
  
"But yeah, in general I don't go around telling people," Jake said. "Gina knows, since we grew up together. She actually helped me out a bunch, when I was figuring stuff out."  
  
"Oh, and this one time --" Jake thought back. "So, at the academy, Rosa could tell I was...going through something, but she was like 'bro. I don't want to know.'"  
  
_"I said no feelings," Rosa spat. "But if anybody messes with you, I'll kick their asses."_  
  
"Which is the most supportive I think Rosa is of anyone," Jake said. "So we're buds now. Obvs."  
  
Amy nodded.

"Oh and Holt was triple-checking our files one day," Jake said. "Because that's something Holt would do."

 _"Peralta, there's an inconsistency in your personnel file. Do you know a --"_   
_Fuck it, Jake thought. I'm going to have to interrupt him._  
_"Sir," Jake interrupted. "If you could not say the name, that would mean a lot to me."_  
_Holt turned his head slowly. "Oh?"_   
_"Yeah, there's a name on some of my transcripts, sounds like it belongs to a cute Jewish girl? That's me, before I was Jake. I really don't want people to call me that any more, and the thing is, if I hear it in your voice, I'm never going to un-hear it."_   
_Holt nodded slowly. Jake hoped that was his 'processing' face._   
_"So, it's only been a few years since they -- the gov'mnt, the man, you know -- started allowing changes to gender on all official documents, for people in my situation --"_   
_Holt waited._   
_"Transgender people," Jake said._   
_"Ah," said Holt._   
_"So I had to run all over the place and...wait in lines, and fax things, and mail things attached to other stuff, to have all those documents changed over, to be like 'hi I'm still Jake! And all my legal paperwork should say 'male' on it!' And even then, some of my transcripts still have the old name. So that's me. There's not, like, a secret twin sister that I'm pulling a crazy heist with. Even though that sounds like something I would do."_   
_"All this paperwork?" Holt said._   
_"Yeah. It was a nightmare."_   
_"It must have been important to you, to have gone through with all that."_   
_"Haha, yeah, you know me, Jakey hates bureaucracy," Jake laughed. "Oh holy shit, you're not joking. Totes for reals, though."_   
_"I'll remember that, Jacob." Holt paused, meaningfully. "Totes for reals."_ _  
"Thanks, Dad."_

"Then he asked me if he should add more letters to AAGLNYCPA and I felt like that was, uh, a different conversation," Jake finished.

"I'm glad he was cool," Amy said. "It'd be sad -- and scary! -- if someone you really admired just decided they weren't going to respect you any more."  
  
"It sure would," said Jake, giving Amy a long, starry-eyed look that he couldn't help. He put his arm around her and kissed her on the top of the head, in an unspoken _thank you._   
  
"I miss him," Amy said. "I hope he figures out a way to come back." 

"Me too," Jake said. "Wanna make out?"  
  
"Yeah," Amy laughed, snuggling up to Jake. "Yeah, I do."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> nerd-husbands.tumblr.com


End file.
